When Fear Creeps In ?>

When Fear Creeps In

Over the past month, so much fear has been creeping into my life.  Fear in the area of my business, my abilities, and my future.  The fact that, as humans, we tend to overthink and over-analyze all the small things did not contribute to my feelings of fear.  Not only was this fear in my head, but I felt its physical manifestations in my body.   My chest felt tight and my body felt weak.  Weak, as in, I felt as if my limbs could not withstand the weight of a 5-pound dumbbell weak.  I ignored this fear, and its accompanying feelings.  I let them be, not judging them too much, but knowing that it didn’t feel right.  I did not feel like myself, both emotionally and physically.   As I noticed this fear, and resisted it, more of it showed up in my life.  But still, I left it untouched.  It wasn’t until I was able to completely detach myself from my life for a couple weeks (enter: two week trip to Japan),  that I noticed the fear dissipate.  The change was slow and subtle, and I wondered what had changed.  Then it occurred to me.  I stopped resisting the fear.  Maybe solely because I just forgot to think about it, and forgot to give it my attention.  Once I was reintroduced to my life without fear, I realized how much more enjoyable, and natural, that life was.   That realization, however small it may seem, was eye-opening.  It made me realize that this fear I was trying so hard to avoid, was my choice and being created by no one but myself.  I was choosing to be fearful.  I was choosing how to respond to certain situations, circumstances, emails and conversations from opposing counsel, motions, deadlines, etc., from a place of fear.  Why you ask?  Probably because I stopped trusting myself, trusting my abilities, and seeing my vision.  Fear was just standing in my way, and I was letting it stay right there.   Once I decided that I was the one in control of my reactions (and actions), I was able to finally choose to push fear aside.  Becoming more mindful of these feelings, and why they were there, helped me recognize that those feelings were not real, nor were they valid.  Has fear been showing up in your life? Have you asked yourself why, and if those feelings hold any truth? As the old saying goes, there is nothing to fear but fear itself.


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